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well let me assure you that you are not alone. I too was a cutter, I did it for several years, it becomes an dependency and from the sounds of it you need some professional help to assist you in ending your addiction. There is nothing criminal with asking for help, if you do not undergo where to go for help call your primary care student and ask for a referral or countenance in the phone aggregation for counselors in your area, it is a rattling difficult thing to over come. I was healthy to overcome my selection by turning that release toward other things like writing, I would just indite some came into my head down, whether it made sense or not I had notebooks flooded of writings and letters I would indite to grouping (I would never send them just indite them) I never showed anyone anything I wrote, but it helped me not need the release of selection so bad, I would be healthy to indite for a patch and then feel ok enough that I could place it off for a while, and then I would just keep doing this and every instance I wrote instead of selection the relief would terminal individual and longer, this was by no means an overnight fix for me and I did hit set backs, and ease to this day hit to fisticuffs the urges, but like any other dependency there is no over night cure. I strongly urge you to gratify get help, and in the mean instance be rattling certain of where you cut, what you cut with and how you do it, most death in grouping who self injure comes from accidentally selection a varicosity or artery, or from getting an infection from using dirty tools, so until you are healthy to control it undergo your anatomy, and sterilize your tools and body. Best wishes to you, and I wish you will seriously study seeking help.
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here are some helpful course and numbers for you
S.A.F.E. 1-800-DONT CUT (Self-injury.com)
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_inj…
http://www.handsonscotland.co.uk/topics/…
http://www.girlshealth.gov/emotions/hurt…
http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/injury…
Please read these pages:
http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/firsta…
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fself… (the setion on staying safe, under the heading; What if I do every this and I ease want to harm?)
and Please keep one or more of these numbers with you:
1-800-Dont Cut (crisis intervention&inpatient communication for SI)
1- 800-448-3000 (Boys Town crisis line)
1-800-999-9999 (Covenant crisis line)
1-800-442-HOPE (National Youth Crisis Hotline)
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